5 Habits That Will Destroy Your Relationship
Here’s what movies don’t tell you about love: there’s still plenty of work to be done after you’ve snagged that girl or guy you’ve been crushing on for ages. Contrary to popular belief, a majority of relationships don’t end in dramatic confrontations and screaming matches. Most of the time, it’s the little everyday things that annoy you about your partner that would lead to an eventual breakup. At any stage of a relationship it’s important to maintain mutual respect, trust and very open communication lines. To safeguard your romance (as well as you sanity!), here are five habits you should avoid to maintain a healthy relationship.
Not respecting privacy
Seeing his cellphone lying around isn’t an invitation to go through his messages. No matter how long you’ve been together, understand that stealthily keeping tabs on your partner is never okay. It doesn’t matter if you’re just curious or if you have a standing agreement to keep no secrets from each other, boundaries are always healthy. Allow your partner to maintain a world of his own and trust him enough to let you in on the important things.
Repeat after me: Fights are not meant to be won, they are meant to be resolved. Remember this is a person that you love, so refrain from spewing vicious words and accusations during heated arguments. Always focus on the issue at hand and don’t dig up past mistakes as ammunition. Disagreements cannot be avoided, but don’t let it snowball either. Be proactive in wanting to resolve the conflict by being honest about how you feel and always aiming for a compromise.
Constant passive aggression
Mind games are never fun, and a stream of shrugs and snarky responses will get you nowhere. Don’t demand for your partner to read your mind, chances are that will just frustrate you both. Speak up when something is bothering you, keeping quiet to avoid fights and acting like a martyr is one of the most unsexy traits, so stay far far away from it.
Let me be clear, if you’re relationship is largely based on each other’s looks, you better look for the exit sign fast. But just because you’re ultra comfortable with your partner doesn’t give you an excuse to just hang around in sweatpants all day. Your partner will appreciate seeing you dolled up on date nights and will marvel if you look put together even when running the simplest errands. One of the fastest ways long term relationships go south is when both parties let themselves go. Make sure your partner knows that he is worth the extra five minutes of swiping on lipstick and an extra coat of mascara.
Forgetting about yourself
Finding yourself more comfortable with being a “we” rather than a “me” is inevitable in most long relationships. Suddenly you’re always with his friends, spending weekends doing his favorite things and eating his favorite food. Stop yourself from falling into that slump, and make sure you have a separate life that is not dependent on your coupledom. While this advice might seem counter-intuitive, trust me that a dash of independence is key in all relationships. Cultivate your own interests and hobbies and share them with him! Constantly learning from each other keeps things fresh and exciting.